Life, for me, has been anything but conventional. I’ve moved around a lot, had my fair share of personal and professional challenges, and been through experiences that tested my resilience in ways I never imagined. But through it all, I’ve found strength, learned invaluable lessons, and discovered who I truly am.
Growing up, I always felt different. I struggled in social situations, finding comfort in structure and routine rather than spontaneous gatherings. While others were outgoing and sociable, I often preferred my own company, content with quiet reflection and solitary activities. For years, I didn’t understand why, but in my thirties, I was diagnosed with autism. While many describe this diagnosis as a revelation, for me, it was shattering at first. Instead of immediate clarity, I felt a sense of upheaval—I had to relearn who I was. Over time, I’ve come to understand that depression, burnout, and feeling disconnected from those closest to me will be challenges I face throughout my life. However, this realisation has also allowed me to start navigating these struggles with more self-awareness and resilience, embracing who I am rather than trying to fit into a mould that never suited me.
Professionally, I’ve always been committed, sometimes working too much because I found home life challenging. I threw myself into my work as a way of coping, taking on responsibilities others might have avoided, from managing contracts to troubleshooting complex problems. My dedication to getting the job done has been my hallmark, but looking back, I realise that work became a refuge when things felt overwhelming at home. Even as I managed teams and tackled difficult tasks, I was quietly managing my own struggles, balancing my introverted nature with the demands of my professional life.
Depression, however, has been a constant shadow. It’s something I’ve struggled with for much of my life, though I rarely speak about it. Depression, for me, isn’t a sign of weakness – it’s a part of the human condition, and while it has made certain days harder than others, I’ve never let it define me or stop me from showing up. Sometimes, the simple act of getting through the day feels like a triumph.
Alongside these challenges, I’ve had to navigate the confusion and uncertainty of divorce. I’ve always found parenting and the family dynamic difficult, but I never let that stop me from being present for my children. Although I’ve always ensured regular time with them, I realised that my relationship with each child grew stronger during more personal, individual moments. I tried to spend time with the family as a whole, but I’ve always connected better in smaller settings, where I could focus on one or two people. At times, I struggled with feeling distant, but I’ve always done my best to overcome these challenges. Co-parenting is never easy, but these closer interactions have allowed me to build meaningful connections with my kids.
Health has also thrown a few curveballs my way. Two pulmonary embolisms derailed my passion for contact sports like kickboxing, forcing me to adapt to a life without the physical outlet I once relied on. It was a tough blow, but like everything else, I’ve learned to adjust. I’ve turned to cycling as my new physical challenge, and fortunately, I’ve been able to keep going to the gym to lift weights and do cardio, which has always been a crucial part of my life. Staying active is something I’ve always needed, both for my physical health and mental well-being.
Despite all this, I’ve always worked. My career has been a source of stability through the ups and downs, and it’s something I take pride in. No matter what life has thrown at me, I’ve shown up – for myself, for my family, and for the people I work with.
In the end, my story isn’t one of perfection or ease, but of perseverance. I’m a work in progress, constantly learning and adapting. My journey is far from over, and I continue to embrace whatever comes my way with resilience and a quiet strength I’ve built over time.